Part 2: What Can I Do Now?

Well what can you do once you've become the bottom of the barrel loser that you are? Well recovery WILL not be easy, but alas, it is acomplishable... by a few easy steps to recovery you too can become a normal person.

Chances are you are a Justin fan. How do I know this? Because I'd say about 69% of teeny boppers are infact Justin Timberlake fans. 15% are JC fans, 6% are lance fans and that very rare person who likes chris or joey's ugly behind 10% are Chris and Joey fans..That doesn't mean lance fans are better, just that he doesn't have very many fans... oh well.

But the fact remains. Now what you must learn is to accept. Start by doing a few simple excerises every morning, noon and night..

1) good morning ugly: When you wake up in the morning walk over to your posters and say hello as you normally do. HOWEVER, mock them. Example: Good morning pimp-wannabe Joey, good morning flaming homosexual lance, good morning crack fiend JC, good morning grampa chris, good morning justin..you still aren't black

2) Nsuck: Repeat some things to yourself as you are getting ready, Example.. if you are a Lance fan tell yourself: he is a fag, he loves a dead horse, he screwed TOPANGA, he has a potty mouth, everyone in Mississippi is related to each other, he took his sister to the prom.. etc.

3) Lunchtime: Look at your binder (that is covered in "I LOVE JUSTIN!"s) and cross one out.

4) G'night: If you can't sleep, or you can.. lull yourself into dream land by picturing the most hanous pictures of Nsync there is on the market.. example:

this will prevent you from thinking about kissing Justin under the moonlight if you think about him and JC going at it.. unless you are weird and this makes you want him more.. ew.

Now that you've taken the first step to recovery, continue on with Step 2

1) break the wall down: In the morning take down one BOP! poster every school day, and 2 on Saturday and Sunday

2) Stay away: Keep away from Nsync related food when packing your lunch. This means no twinkies "cuz joey likes them", No taco bell "cuz chris likes it", no peach cobbler "cuz Justy LOVES it!"

3) Be true to yourself: Accept one rumor as being true everyday.. some to start with 1)Justy is screwin' Britney, 2) JC has a girlfriend 3) so does chris 4) lance has a BOYFRIEND 5) Joey has many STD's

4) Stop in the name of love: Stop fantasizing about Nsyncers. When you out or at school DO NOT compare every man to Justin, instead accept whatchagot. Isn't there any REAL boys at your school that you have a chance with that are almost as hot? Isn't there ANY hot REAL co-workers that you could get your groove on with? Yes ladies, as the stever would say "there is lots of goldfish in the bathtub"

Good, now we're doing something... and for the last step

1) Break the wall down part II: take down all the posters, paint your room to compensate, or buy some phat art at the flea market

2) let the motha burn!: Burn your BOP! mags, your "Just Justin", your "Justin in my pocket" whatever.. it'll only remind you and suck you back in lata, or instead save the stuff for the next step

3) Sell the good stuff: sell your cds, video tapes, t-shirts, merchandise whatever to the local kiddies.. or have a Nsync Garage sale wit all your friends who are recovering as well. Or sell the crap on the internet for mega dolla dolla billz

4) change is good: Stop writing "Bye, Bye. Bye" , stop emphazing "JUST" in most sentaces, stop sucking up to the kid in school who's last name is "Bass", stop staring at the guy named "Justin" just because his name is Justin, Stop refering to Nsync as Nsync.. they are now Nsuck, stop using their lyrics as your anthem or phrase to live by, delete all your Nsync links except for the humor sites, stop going into Nsync chat rooms and Stop watching TRL

Now move to Step 4 for: Who can I turn to?

 


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