Marriage Made in HELL!
Mrs. Joshua Scott Chasez
- the kids would eventually ask about "Uncle Jerome"
- worse yet, they'd ask "why does mommy and Uncle Justin spend so much time together in the laundry room?"
- teeth are relativly hereditary
- that nose is hereditary
- could you really deal with his spazzing? I mean it might be cute on stage, but it definatly wouldn't be cute in the bedroom
- your son would start conducting the radio "cuz' daddy does"
- your daughter may become anorexic because "if daddy doesn't have to eat, why should I?"
- the toothbrush cup in your bathroom would keep falling over... there would only be one in it after all
- what happens if your kids find "daddy's magic sugar" and try and make kool aid with it? can we say hospital trip? and how are you gonna explain to the orderly how your kids got crack in the first place?
- wouldn't you get tired of him whispering in your ear about "his thug appeal" to try and turn you on?
- what happens when your kids hear that horrible song? I can see it now "mommy, can I get some timbs and baggy jeans? daddy says he has em'!"
- and even worse, what happens if they hear digital getdown? if my 9 year old cousin knows what it means, so will your kids
- your baby might get into daddy's tub of hair gel... hospital visit #2
- what happens when your kids see the mickey mouse club and begin to end every sentance with "dude"?
Mrs. Justin Randall Timberlake
- your baby might get into the bleach.. hospital visit #1
- could you really living in a baby blue house, with baby blue everything?
- wouldn't the mirrors on the celing he insisted on putting in piss you off?
- you can only take being called "woman" so many times without going off
- what in the hell are you gonna do when your 3 year old son comes in the kitchen and proclaims "hey bitch, you best be givin' me some kool aid right quick or ah'll bus a cap in yo ass wif mah fortae five"?
- what happens when your daughter tells you the reason shes wearing a pink tube top is becuase "daddy says the thugs like a bitch wif no clothes on"
- you can only watch him sing "can i get a..." so many times with out throwing the cd into the fireplace
- you are gonna get sick of doing him sometime.. no matter how much you deny it now, hearing him say "hows about justy gettin' thrusty on yo ass" every 2 hours WILL piss you off
- you have to sleep sometime, and how are you gonna do that when he insists on listening to Jay Z before he goes to bed everynight?
- what are you gonna do when the local teeny boppers flatten your tires and write "dirty slut" with pink lip smacker lipsitck on the windows of your new benz?
- three words: crack whore lynn
- are you really going to be able to control yourself when britney calls in the middle of the night and asks for "big justy"?... jail visit #1
- what happens when she shows up at your door? jail visit #2.. oops you did it again, hehe
- what happens when lynn tells your kids you are a "dirty gold digging bitch"?
Mrs. James Lance Bass
- the conversation is going to come up.. he WILL need to be informed you will not get pregnant by kissing
- if he thrusts like that.... you too will be spending time in the laundry room with uncle justy
- or in the hospital.. a busted pelvic bone or whatever CAN'T feel good
- Mississippi WILL piss you off.. I think Alex once put it best "the air smells like toby's ass"
- you will be the only woman in church not related to each other, including your husband
- by the 3rd child he makes you name "toby" you will have to put your foot down
- you're gonna have to lie to his mother and tell her that you adopted.. if she found out you had sex with her son you will get a mississippi beating
- you're daughter WILL cry when daddy tells her "sweetie, that color is SO wrong on you.. here lemme do your makeup"
- you're son WILL cry when daddy would rather do sissy's makeup than play baseball with him
- your kids will be potty mouths
- you're gonna have to teach the kids, and lance about the birds and the bees
- going to church EVERY freaking day WILL get annoying
- what are you going to do when he spontanously yells "toby" when you're doin' it?
Mrs. Joesph Anthony Fatone
- your kids will be ugly.. straight up
- what the hell are you gonna tell the kids when they find daddy's porn?
- how long are you gonna let steve sleep in the same bed with you and joey?
- how can you possibly live up to the standard set by the approx. 555,123,484,218 women he's slept with?
- how many STD's do you want? I hope its alot
- how many days of him making you call him "big joe" can you really take?
- what are you gonna do when your son brings home nekkid pictures of his kindergarten girlfriend and joey says "way to go son!"
- what are you gonna do when your daughter tells you she found out that "daddy has 69 other kids"
- are you gonna be able to survive off of his paycheck when you have 69 child support checks to write, not mention the outragous grocery bill
- one of these days you WILL get sick of steve video taping you having sex... and that mean jail visit #1
Mrs. Christopher Allen Kirkpatrick
- can you listen to the same old weak ass jokes day in and day out
- again the kids will wanna know why "mommy and uncle justy spend so much time in the laundry room together"
- what if he decides to get dreads again?
- what the hell are you gonna do when he does that girly scream while you're getting yo thrust on?
- what are you gonna do when he proclaims "i'm going back to universal, but this time i'm gonna work the corn dog shack"?
- what if your kids see the IDMC video? how ya gonna explain that one huh?
- those fumanskeeto clothes are ugly and you and your kids WILL get sick of wearing them
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